Obituary of Kathleen Jane Nelson

Kathleen Jane Nelson

September 21, 1931 - February 5, 2021

 

It is with tremendous sadness that the family of Kathleen Jane Nelson announces her passing.

 

Kathleen (affectionately known as Kay) passed away peacefully in her sleep at Albright Manor in Beamsville on February 5th, 2021 at the age of 89.  

 

Kay was predeceased by her parents Albert Konkle (1977) and Violet Konkle (nee Sherwood) (2001), and her only sibling, younger brother Gary Konkle (1976).

 

Kay leaves behind her devoted daughter Kelly and beloved son-in-law Randy Friesen, grandson Tim Friesen, granddaughter Kathleen (Katie) Gottli and grandson (in-law) Joe Gottli.   Her very precious great-grandson Michael Gottli is also left behind with many special memories of his Nana.  Kay will also be sadly missed by her cousins Barbara and Gloria, Janice and Kenny, and Dianne, and her sister-in-law Carolynne Nelson.

 

Kay was born on September 21, 1931 at home on the Konkle family farm located on Greenlane Rd. in Beamsville.

 

Weighing in around the 3 lb mark, she spent the first few months of life wrapped in a bunting and laying in a basket that was placed in front of the family’s stove, as it was the only heat source for the home at that time.  Occasionally she even made it onto the open oven door if it was especially cold.

 

During her childhood years Kay attended the Lower Thirty School in Beamsville and worked at developing her music and dance talents.  She trained very hard and succeeded at being an exceptional toe dancer.  She also excelled at tap dancing, guitar and piano and was asked to perform at the homes of Beamsville’s wealthier residents whenever they hosted teas, receptions and parties.  As a teen, Kay continued her recitals and performances and attended Beamsville District Secondary School.

 

After high school Kay worked at Stedman’s, the basket factory and Dave Wright’s in Beamsville.

 

She married Don Nelson in early 1950, and tragically later that year, Kay gave birth to their stillborn son David William.  It was 9 years before they had another child, this time a daughter who she named Kelly.

 

Kay faced many hardships during her life including the breakdown of her marriage.  In the early 60’s, she chose to end her relationship with Don.

 

Kay Nelson may have been born tiny but she grew to be an incredibly strong, determined and independent woman.

 

She experienced all the worries and faced all the challenges that a single mom would face.  Kay wasn’t one to be easily intimidated, and throughout her life showed courage no matter what life threw at her.

 

Kay’s first full-time work after becoming a single parent was at Westinghouse in Grimsby.  She liked the job of welding filaments and would come home with teensy little specks all over her face.  Her daughter still has the pair of glasses that Kay wore while working at Westinghouse and the lenses are covered with those same little specks.  With technology improving, the company laid off a group of employees which included Kay and eventually closed down the location altogether.

 

Kay then took different part-time jobs as a housecleaner, babysitter and even a driving instructor.  With perseverance, her next part-time work at the winery in Jordan turned into a permanent position at the Jordan Wines plant on Louth Street in St. Catharines, where she worked until her retirement.

 

Kay lost her brother in 1976 to an at-home accident and less than a year later her beloved father passed away after a battle with throat cancer.  She and her mother stayed strong through it all.  Three months later her daughter married leaving Kay alone for the first time in her life.

 

One afternoon in late 1980, she received a call at work that her apartment was on fire.  She rushed home to find all of her belongings either burned or smoke and water damaged by a fire that was caused by creosote build up in her landlord’s chimney.

 

Kay moved in with Kelly and Randy and their newborn son Timothy.  She was a great help to these two new parents and she stayed with them while looking for a new apartment.  When Kelly was a child, she and her Mom spent almost every free Saturday window-shopping together and now they had the opportunity to shop for real for all of Kay’s new clothing and furnishings.  Far too soon she found a new apartment and moved on to her next phase in life.

 

Kay retired early to help out with her grandchildren after school and over the summers.  By the time the kids were old enough to be left to their own devices, her mother began to require help keeping up with her apartment.  Kay was lucky enough to find an apartment for her mother in her building.  They spent hours together each day, visiting at each other’s place.  Eventually Kay moved her mother in with her.

 

They lived together through 2 more moves but in time Kay found the care of her mother to be beyond her own capabilities so she moved her to Albright Manor.

 

Kay became a volunteer at the Manor until her Mother’s passing in 2001.

 

Without the responsibility of her having to provide for her child, or be a caregiver for her grandchildren or her mother, Kay was finally able to add her name to the wait list for an Edelheim seniors apartment.  In 2002 Kay moved in and she spent the next 18 years there.

 

Needing something to keep her busy besides her much loved crosswords and wordfinds, and never being much of a social butterfly in her later years, Kay stepped out of her comfort zone to assume a different kind of responsibility.  She took on the job of ‘Birthday Card Lady’ which entailed getting the birthday cards signed and delivered to the Edelheim seniors.  She ended up enjoying the task and did a wonderful job at it for many years.

 

As Kay’s health started to decline and dementia crept into her life, she gave up her drivers license and her ‘Robin’s Egg Blue 1979 T-Bird’ and sadly the freedom it had provided.  For awhile she made use of the bus service for her grocery shopping and banking but even that small independence eventually came to an end when she was no longer able to make the weekly bus trips downtown.

 

Kelly retired in 2014 to help her mom out with the things she could no longer do herself.  After experiencing a series of falls in late 2019 and early 2020, it became apparent that Kay needed more help than Kelly or Randy could provide.

 

Unfortunately due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Kay’s admission to Albright Manor was delayed until mid-May.  She voluntarily walked through Albright’s front doors and into a strange and isolated existence.  Her phone was her link to the outside until the lockdown was lifted and Kelly was allowed to visit.

 

Kay’s health declined very quickly with the restrictions that the coronavirus brought and her final months were spent in isolation under another lockdown order.

 

Kay passed away without the presence of her loving family by her side but it is her family’s hope that Kay could feel Kelly’s hand holding hers and that she received all the love and comforting thoughts that they sent her way.

 

Kelly would like to thank the nursing and support staff of Albright’s 4th floor who have risen to the challenge of maintaining excellent care during this extremely difficult time.  A very heartfelt thank you is being sent out to a very special staff-member, Taylor.  During Kay’s residence at Albright and especially at the end of Kay’s time on this earth, Taylor spent the quality time with her that Kelly couldn’t.  For that, Kelly and her family will be forever grateful.

 

Following Mom’s wishes, cremation has taken place and her loving family has gathered privately to say their final goodbyes.

 

Kay donated annually to the Arthritis Society as arthritis was a disease that afflicted 3 generation of our family.  In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation in her name or to a charity of your choice.

 

And finally Kelly would like to pass on these thoughts.

 

“Due to this pandemic Mom’s final days and months were not spent as she or I had hoped.  So many other families have gone through the same heartbreaking experience that our family just went through and unfortunately more families will continue to experience the unbearable feeling of being separated from their loved one at such an important time.  Please help these families by adhering to the lockdown rules!”

 

‘Stay home, stay safe and save lives’.